04. The Guest.

Okay, so because I'm a lazy cunt, I got a guest writer for the next installment of Alexx's Rantspace. Here is Laura's Theft of Alexx's Rantspace in *ALL ITS GLORY*:

"I'm Laura, I'm small and I'm a little tapped in the head to put it nicely.
It mainly comes down to anger issues, and my inability to deal with things as they come, rather I let it build up until it turns into something known to some as 'Laurasplosions'.
Now this can happen due to something totally unrelated to what I'm really feeling angry about, but is enough to annoy me to the point where a catastrophic string of colourful words is unleashed upon some poor, unsuspecting moron.

One such time this happened was when everything in life was going spectacularly, well spectacularly wrong to be more precise. However what's worse was the fact it was mainly of my own doing, and my own paranoia, this of course leads to total and utter denial and instead becomes someone else's fault. This occasion it became the fault of one poor soul who made an off the cuff remark of my intelligence, or supposed lack thereof.

Now I know the right thing to do would be to roll my eyes and leave it be, but not this time. No, this girl, known as 'L' from now on had become victim of the next 'Laurasplosion'. I quickly acquainted myself with her email address and set in calling her everything from a pig, to a dog… and some more exotic names to boot. 'L' quickly denied making such a comment, but it didn't matter, the anger was there and so carried on the threats to brick her house in and the promise that I would indeed be behind her death which involved fire, and lots of it.

Now to those who don't know me, this is merely amusing empty threats, to those that know me, its amusing but completely feasible as I have been known to stab people with forks for doing nothing other than commenting on my food tastes and one poor boy had an interesting encounter with a pair of scissors after telling me I threw like a girl. Unlucky for him, my aim was spot on that day.

Still, the question remains, why can't I just calm down and let things be? Well because I enjoy what I do, so hate me by all means, kick me in the head and nick my phone if you want, but if I'm not a vegetable by the end of it, your car will somehow end up somewhere in the middle of a lake with 'cheers for the ride' painted across the bonnet.

Laura out, xoxo"